I spent last Sunday grieving for all the people who are on the front lines giving help during the pandemic. It’s heartbreaking! There are so many!
And for all the families involved with a loved one who has the virus. I worry about them all. I try to stay away from the news, but still, you can’t help but know the information that comes out on a regular basis. The picture has been doom and gloom.
On Sunday, it hit me. I was overwhelmed with the sadness of it all. Just so sad.
Normally, I’m a cowgirl healer, all over the problem with prayer, metaphysics, Reiki, you name it.
But on Sunday, I needed to lie down and bleed awhile before I rose to fight again. My grief was so long and deep it felt I’d never come out of it.
Something happened during this time of grief, however. At some point in the late afternoon, I found myself recalling the grief I felt over 27 years ago when my ex-husband left me. It all came back to me. I was hurt and mad all over again. I felt overwhelmed with grief for both now and for then.
By late evening, it felt like I may be coming out of being grief-stricken. And as this happened, even though the pandemic was still occurring at an extraordinary rate, somehow, I felt different about it. Where, before, I had grief, now I had a light of hope.
The next morning, when I looked back on the remembrance of my ex-husband leaving, I felt different from the day before. It seemed that the grief that surfaced the day before was now totally cleared. I was in an elevated place, recalling that out of the divorce came something very wonderful.
If my ex-husband had never left, I’d have never found the love of my life, my soulmate and best friend, Scotty. Often, what appears so harmful and a traumatic loss, can turn out differently. There really are clouds with silver linings.
Now, I’m back, less emotional, more engaged in the healing of the pandemic as so many of us are. And, I also feel lighter, more hopeful, as though the problem may even end sooner than we think and be lighter than we imagined. And we may all come out with a deeper sense of humanity. I surely hope so.
I now have a meta-view of what we’re going through. I sense we’re going through a global cleanse. This is a time, where you may find yourself going back in time to a personal heartbreak, fear, or crises.
See this as a time of completing the residue of clearing your past and even your present. As this happens, you can use this opportunity to feel those unfelt feelings from times you suffered, offer yourself sweet empathy for the hardship you endured, and provide more kindness and humaneness to yourself.
Cleansing can be deeply healing. It can transform you with a lighter, softer heart, one which carries more joy and a greater ease to love than before. This can cause you to let down some of your wall which you believe has protected you.
It’s potentially a time to learn a new way of being on earth, with greater kindness and unity and less division and hurt. This pandemic can be a pan-healing as we open the door to renewed possibilities for ourselves and the planet.
May God be with you!
