Let’s face it. We all make mistakes. We don’t intend to, but we do.
Here’s what no one ever taught you. Making mistakes is how we learn – from childhood all the way through our lives. We learn through both awakening – realizing what we did which didn’t work out well. And we learn through suffering, by wishing we hadn’t done what we did. Both of these paths are learning curves and we can gain much from what we learn.
The place we generally get stuck is in the state of regret over what we did. When we’re stuck, our learning curve becomes stunted. We get blocked by negative emotions – feeling embarrassed over how we acted in a certain situation, wishing we’d have seen it coming and we’d been more gracious, wise, and admirable. We go down the rabbit hole of feeling stupid and perhaps self-hate enters, which affects our confidence and every other part of our life.
Generally, we’re far harder on ourselves than we are on others.
It’s time to pull back and re-see this.
Don’t you deserve to forgive yourself for past mistakes?
What would it be like, for example, for you to drop the burden of guilt and regret and allow yourself to be forgiven? Where in your body do you hold that inner grudge against yourself? Your stomach, lower back, shoulders, neck, muscles?
Consider the poisonous thoughts behind a grudge such as: “I should have known better! Why did I do that? I feel so stupid! I failed myself!”
Are you beginning to see your pain? These harmful thoughts represent energies that reside in your body and are locked in through your mind. They’re vicious!
You have the ability to un-do all of this. And to start feeling better!
Here’s first steps where you can start forgiving yourself:
- Set an intention to forgive yourself. You can do that right now in one second.
- Decide that you deserve to be forgiven. You need to get on with your life without rehashing what happened in the past.
- Realize you need to start feeling better about yourself and stop beating up yourself.
Now, your motivation is probably growing.
One more thing. Most spiritual healers who have been healing for many years are aware that many of the physical problems we suffer from tend to heal once we address stuck patterns from our suffering. Many begin with self-forgiveness. It’s part of learning to love yourself. Only you can give yourself permission to let yourself off the hook. This is a big and an important realization.
Part of your life purpose is to learn and grow.
Here’s the last part. Take a final look at what you grieve that you believe you did wrong.
Now ask yourself, “What one thing did I learn from it?”
There’s a lesson in every mistake. Sometimes the lesson gained is just to acknowledge that it was a mistake and then move on. Other incidents may be complex and require more thoughtfulness. Being determined to learn from life experiences is a great part of why you are here.
The review of what you did wrong is not about hating yourself. You’ve already done plenty of that. We’re changing the pattern here.
What’s different now is that you’re looking at the mistake from the perspective of your Higher Self, your wise self, in order to become enlightened about how you can do better. You already deserve a huge pat on the back for taking a last look at what you need to forgive in order to learn something!
Realize that you are on a learning curve for this entire human experience. You are going to make a lot of mistakes. That’s okay. It’s expected. Be curious about what you have learned. Allow yourself to learn from your mistakes – past, present and future ones. Decide to let them go now as you forgive yourself. This causes you to go to the head of the class called “healthy and successful living!”
Begin by asking yourself, “What have I learned from my mistakes?” Celebrate your learning. It’s a big part of why you are here. If you’re learning, you’re growing and becoming a better person, one who is learning how to live with yourself with greater kindness. This is mindfulness. It makes you more valuable, aware, intelligent, and beautiful!
If there are those who you have harmed, say a simple prayer that this may be divinely corrected and that this person may be in a place of blessing so that they too, may go higher. You can intend for you both to rise higher and gain from life experiences. If it’s possible to contact the person you can share your sorrow over your mistake, which you didn’t mean to do. It helps. Remember, they make mistakes too.
The light within you is shining more brightly as you release misgivings for all time.
Forgiveness is vital to your happiness and to your ability to move forward with joy, love, and peace.