First let me say, regarding your heartbreak, how sorry I am for your sadness, fragility and feeling of helpless despair. That’s what heartbreak is.
It forces us into a space that otherwise, we would have never entered.
This space is loaded with healing.
During this pandemic, I’ve watched my heart break wide open many times, as I am sure you have experienced this as well. In this break-open space, I’ve felt deep compassion and empathy for all the medical workers.
I’ve been terribly worried for their lives, impressed by their martyrdom and skills, understanding of their horribly difficult personal choices as well as their patients and their families. Their heartbreak is very different from mine. They’re in the eye of the heartbreak storm.
We’re all deeply touched by the suffering and loss and fear around us – and the personal fears we hold for ourselves and our loved ones.
We’re rising beyond flood stages of tears, watching the rapidness of Covid-19’s spread and its rising toll, as it scrambles our very reality of what is normal and real.
We’ve been living in a state of heartbreak!
Let’s take a look at what happens in this state.
- Strong feelings of fear, vulnerability, and sorrow have a way of forcing us to feel more deeply in places we may have avoided and even closed down until now. Heartbreak is extreme.
- Feeling broken, we realize our need to have help. We call on our inner resources to find strength, courage, calm, and steadiness during the break-open period.
- We look for hope.
- We become open to new possibilities. Anything would be better than sitting in a heartbreak station, waiting for the arrival of more tears.
- We reach for something bigger than ourselves, that’s capable of helping us carry our heavy load. We discover the bigness that resides outside the heartbreak. And we hang on for dear life as the bigness companions us. It helps to get us through, feeling a small cushion of comfort. We feel less alone.
- Often, during a heart break, unhealed situations from our past may surface and cause us to reflect. During our refection, we review what happened and how bad it hurt and perhaps something new emerges that we hadn’t seen before. We sit with it in a quiet place as the new view emerges. It’s like a cleansing where difficulties from the past can become more resolved and our feelings can reach a new level of resolution.
This is what healing looks like during a heartbreak.
It’s not a time to accelerate a dive downward, adding negative components of self-blame, shame, guilt, or self-hate. Nor is it a time to do this to others.
Heartbreak has a way of leveling us to the core. Its design is to change us for the better. We come out changed. Heartbreak is the transition to this change, a change you would have never designed for yourself but that emerged from the hardship you suffered.
In heartbreak, consider these things.
- Feel the depth of your feelings rather than distracting yourself. Allow comfort and empathy – for yourself and others – to enter your heart space.
- Be open to what’s beyond the heartbreak even though you haven’t seen it.
- Keep hope alive for yourself through your mere intention to do so.
- Try to stay calm and steady during the rockiest and most unbearable parts.
- Carry the meta-view, realizing that you’re in a pause that is full of potential to bring you wisdom, awaken you to something bigger than the heartbreak, and set you on a new course, which would have never occurred without the heartbreak.
- Come to terms with what you may be learning. Investigate that a little more.
- Allow yourself to adapt and change as you evolve from a place of utter devastation.
- Give yourself love and patience like you’ve never dreamed of.
- Think of yourself as one who is carrying the entire solution to your heartbreak and allow this to accelerate itself through you. It will.
I’m with you as you call on your divine Source. You are not alone. I hope you feel my loving outreach for you during this hard time and that this brings you peace and comfort and strength to go forward.
Even though you may not feel better immediately, I believe you will move past this in a good and powerful way. Let me know how you’re doing. Please take care.
