Sitting in art class, making effort to solve the grand puzzle of trying to like my drawing, I often turn against myself.Thoughts like, “I have no talent. Why am I still trying to draw, after all these years when I’ve made so little progress! I can’t stand this awful drawing! I feel terrible!”
As we enter the second hour of drawing class, tension often grows among the other artists who are practicing something new and perceived as difficult.
Again, I hear those self-hate thoughts, but it’s coming from others in the class. I think to myself, “But they are fabulous sketchers! Their drawings look wonderful! I’m shocked that this isn’t obvious to them!”
We are our own worst critics whether its drawing, hating our looks, aging, difficult relationships, or trying anything new. Self-hate often erodes our efforts to change and improve.
My amazingly, talented, and skilled art teacher, who is a master drawer and painter, often addresses her students’ discouragement and explains that even now, after years of art, she too sometimes gets to a place where her work isn’t going well and has to grapple with sharp inner criticism.
We are all subject to self-hate and some times are worse than other times. We need to learn to come to our aid the moment we are aware of the downward gravitational pull to our self-esteem. How do you fight your mental conditioning that declares that who you are and what you do are not enough – and, in fact, deplorable?
When you find yourself going down with self-hate, you can quickly bring in a more positive energy lifting yourself higher. You can tell yourself:
· Afterall, I’m only trying to learn something new. I deserve a pat on the back!
· At least I’m trying to improve. Good for me!
· By making efforts to learn, I’m being loving to myself. I’m becoming stronger and more capable. I’m improving!
· By learning from my mistakes, I’m using the power of awareness and humility. I’m getting wiser.
· I’m not a quitter. It may be hard for me to acquire new talents or skills, but it’s worth it and I’m a winner for even trying.
· One day, in the future, I’ll look bck on this and be glad I persevered! I’m a warrior!
Self-love isn’t hard. It’s much easier than hating yourself. Think how sweet it is to love yourself! Here are 10 love skills* to help you:
1. Receive Love generously
2. Cherish your life purpose
3. Create sacred time alone
4. Honor and speak your feelings
5. See yourself as a masterpiece
6. Practice inner love talk
7. Love your body
8. Be visible
9. Set boundaries
10. Forgive yourself
* The Top 60 Love Skills You Were Never Taught, Secrets of a Love Master by Scott & Shannon Peck. See also our free online video course “Become a Love Master”@ www.TheLoveCenter.com
